This Post is Totally Inapprop.

So recently I've had this habit of shortening long words into smaller, cuter versions of themselves. It started out as a joke but has become an actual habit of mine. I think I got it from my mother, who says "hume" sometimes instead of "humorous" to be funny. The most common one, recently, has been that I shorten "inappropriate" to "inapprop". It's a surprisingly effective change.

Speaking of things that are inapprop, though, I had an interesting conversation with my friend Aliza today.

Aliza: "My professor is crazy. He's talking about the ridiculousness of social rituals. Like, weddings. What do you do the night before? You get drunk and ideally hire a stripper."

Me: "I don't know about strippers, but I plan on having a massive group sex party before my wedding."

Aliza: "...What."

Me: "And I've always wondered: how do orgies end? Like, I mean, when they're over, does everyone make small talk? Do they talk about it even though it just happened? 'Jolly good, old chap, I did so enjoy that!' 'Me too, good sir, it was fabulous!' Or, like, is it really awkward? 'So, yeah, Cindy, bring those papers by on Monday once you get them signed.' 'You got it, boss. ... Could you pass me my bra?' 'Here you go. Does the case look solid?' 'Well yes, but--' 'Shut up, you two, we're not done yet!' 'Right. Sorry.'"

Aliza: "Why would you ever need to know that?"

Me: "I don't know! It seems like an important thing to know about! How will I small talk my way out of an orgy later if I don't have a plan?"

Aliza: "You're ridiculous."

Not that that is our worst conversation. She's basically my go-to for awkward conversations about things that I don't feel comfortable asking anyone else. The other day I questioned her about 'clitoral engorgement' because my friend decided to tell me about it but was very vague. Suffice it to say that yes, it is as disgusting and weird as it sounds, but is perfectly natural and fascinating. Just like everything else that has to do with genitalia.

Having some drama about my plans this weekend. Hopefully it gets resolved.

Does this obsession with the inapprop make me look hipst?