White Seeds are The Devil, or The People Responsible for Screwing Me Up

I have a tendency to define segments of my life, and who I was, by the people I was around during that time. This is completely healthy and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. My parents, the only people around to see all of these phases, can totally corroborate these stories.

The "Abusive Relationship" phase, ages 3-7

On our street there were like, two or three different kids that were around my age to hang out with, but they were all older than me. Melody, who's still my friend today, was a great and wonderful influence who was talented at everything. Unfortunately, I spent a large portion of time attempting to hang out with my next door neighbor, Blake, who was a terrible friend.

Blake: "Let's play pirates!"
Me: "Okay!
Blake: "I'm the captain! You have to walk the plank!"
Me: "But we're on a playscape tower--"
Blake: "WALK IT."
Me: "I'll fall and hurt myself!"
Blake: "Stop whining!"

And then he pushed me off of the playscape. I started crying and ran home. I pretty much cried and ran home every time I hung out with him, but I kept going back. One other time he convinced me that the little white floating seeds that come down from the sky occasionally were actually bugs that would burn your skin if they touched you. He would touch them and not get burnt, but he told me they knew he was stronger than them so they wouldn't hurt him.

I'm still afraid of those little white seeds.


The "Video Games Are All That Matters!" Phase, ages 8-10

My best friend during this period (and still the person I spend the most time with when I'm visiting Texas) was Joseph, who I had actually met a few years prior at the science fair, where he got first place and I got second, despite the fact that my ketchup-thickness race was much more applicable to the real world than his bottle rocket or whatever.

During this time I became completely entrenched in video games. Joseph introduced me to NeverWinterNights, which ate a large portion of my life, and we also played numerous other video games together, beating whatever we could get our hands on. During school we were pretty much inseperable, as well. During free time we always played with the Legos, but all I could make was something I called, like, Mister Pants, which was two long lego blocks on a rotating wheel thing. He was making starfighters and stuff, but I was content with Mister Pants.

One day during this period, our teacher asked us to chose one of us to be Wilbur in our class production of Charlotte's Web, and the other to be Templeton. I, of course, demanded the lead, and he didn't care. Thus began my career as an actor.


The "Epitome of Nerddom" Phase, ages 11-13

My best friend during this phase was Anthony, though I guess more accurately my best friends were his entire family. I spent as much time as I could over at his house, and I spent all the time doing the nerdiest things I possibly could. Magic the Gathering, Dungeons and Dragons, even some crazy things we dubbed "Adventure Games" which was basically LARPing but without rules. Group storytelling, sort of. It was pretty neat, we did some cool stuff, even if it largely consisted of:

Anthony: "What are you doing in my forest?"
Me: "Why, nothing! I was just here...TO KILL YOU!"
Anthony: "I just shot you with a bow and arrow!"
Me: "No you didn't! I already leapt into the trees!"
Anthony: "I cast a spell on the arrow so it will find you wherever you go!"
Me: "I hid behind you and then jumped out of the way! you just shot yourself with the arrow."
Anthony: "It was a trick arrow! It wasn't sharp, I was only fooling."
Me: "I'm hungry, let's go inside."

Basically, I was still three years old.


The "Dad-Box" Phase, ages 13-14

My best friend at this point was Leah, who lived across the street from me and who got along with me beautifully. We spent one whole saturday clearing out this huge junk room they had connected to her room, and we put the TV in there and watched charmed on bean bag chairs for hours and hours and hours. We watched every season of Charmed AND beat all of the Sly Cooper games. The Fergie "Duchess" CD came out around this time and we played it on a constant loop, so every time I hear "Fergalicious" I think of raccoons.

I soon became deathly afraid of the phone at her house ringing, because that meant my dad was calling and I had to go back across the street to do something for them and stop hanging out with my friend. Every time the phone rang I jumped, and I'm still uncomfortable with ringing phones. They never bode well. Ever. And they always ruin my fun.

My dad thought it would be a good idea, since I didn't have a cell phone and Leah's parents were annoyed with the constant calls, to give me a walkie-talkie he could use to order me back home. I dubbed it the Dad-box. This proved to be terrible for me, for two reasons: One, the Dad-Box made an even worse sound before he started talking than the ringing of the phone, and I grew to despise it even more, and Two, because now my dad had to only press one button and speak rather than seven, he began calling me back more often. It became a quiet war to see how I could best the Dad-box. Once I took all the batteries out and replaced them with dead ones so I could say it died and I never noticed. I would leave it at home accidentally all the time. Basically, anything that could keep me watching Charmed for a few seconds longer was worth it.


The "Oh God So Many Gay People" phase, ages 15-16

At this point, I was out of the closet and in theatre, so I was spending a lot of my time with gay people, both in and out of the closet. Basically the past few years have been filled with more flames than Chicago in 1871. The distribution of my friends shifted heavily over to the gay side, and it still is.

I had a couple of best friends during this period, but the most predominant was Matt. It's a lot harder to look at this period in an objective, funny way because it's so recent, but whatever.


The "Who Am I and What Am I Doing Here" phase, age 17-Whenever

My current phase. No real best friend, but a boyfriend, if that counts. Lots of time shifting who I hang out with and trying to figure out who I want to be. This phase doesn't have a projected end date, but there will be one when I want there to be. Hopefully in a few years I can look back on this phase of my life and have something funny to say about it, too.

I guess the point of this post is to say thank you to all of my friends throughout the years. Even if you weren't mentioned on this list, you've influenced my life and changed me in ways that have either given me complexes forever or forever made me a better person. And either way, I thank you for making me interesting.

I love all of you.

Does this cheesy ending make me look hipster?