People that Don't Need to be Real

Katy Perry

We already have Zooey Deschanel; we don't need the way you look. We already have Paris Hilton; we don't need the way you talk. We already have Christina Aguilera; we don't need uplifting songs that feature gay kissing like it's new, especially when your song requires us to use the weird singular version of a word we always hear plural. You are not a teenager, lots of people kiss girls, and we don't need to see your peacock.

Lindsay Lohan

I really don't think I even need to say anything.

Do these popular targets of bashing make me look hipster?