This is Totally How I Remember my Childhood

So, I was super pretentious and full of myself as a kid. The vast majority of grades K-7 can be summed up like this, by my recollection:

TEACHERS

Wow! Check this kid out! He's a genius!

ME

Chill out, Guys. Just because I have a college-age reading level in kindergarten--

TEACHERS

GEEEENIUUUUUUS. You should totally skip a grade!

RANDOM TEACHER

Skipping a grade is scary. Not very many people pass the test, and then they cry.

ME

Crying is terrible! I don't want to take the test!

PARENTS

It's your choice, our little genius sweetheart.

TEACHERS

Well, then, no skipped grade for you.

FUTURE ME

Why didn't I-- but I could have-- damn it.

THIRD GRADE TEACHER

We're going to do Charlotte's Web for our play. Now, either Joseph or Caleb is going to be Wilbur. You guys choose.

JOSEPH

Well, I mean-- I guess I could-- If given the opportunity--

ME

I'LL DO IT!

THIRD GRADE TEACHER

Sweet. Caleb gets the lead, Joseph is a rat.

JOSEPH

That's cool, I guess.

DRAMA TEACHERS FROM THEN ON

Whoa, you can understand subtexts, connotations, and inflection?! GENIUS!

ME

Another lead role? Wow, I would say that was unexpected except it totally wasn't.

EVERYONE

Stop being so full of yourself!

ME

If I was anything but modest, I would think everyone thought I was cocky.

EVERYONE

We do!

ME

Well, I'm gonna have long hair.

EVERYONE

YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL!

ME

No, I totally don't!

EVERYONE

YES YOU DO!

ME

Okay, fine, I do. I'll cut it.

EVERYONE (ESPECIALLY MY DAD)

Thank God!

And those are pretty much all the events I remember from my childhood. Great, huh?

Do these memories make me look hipster?